Tonight, I had a nurse at the hospital flat out tell me, "Man, you have a shitty life!" Surprisingly enough, she is not the first person who has told me this! ;) I know at times it seems like my life is one crisis after another (not self inflicted), that my life is FAR from perfect. But you know what? It's MY life!!! I think I have a pretty damn good life! Obviously I could have done without losing my son and his father to cancer. And raising two young boys, one of which is autistic is hard. And I wish my father was not ill. But I have soooo many things to be thankful for! I own a home, I have a car that gets me where I need to go, I am able to provide for my children, I have some of the most awesome and insane friends, I have parents who are soooo good to me, and I have two little boys who are my whole world! The circumstances in my life do not make me. It's what I have done with those circumstances that makes me the person I am today. Do I have days where I am down and depressed? Of course...I am only human... But for the most part, I am able to find something to smile about and be happy about EVERY DAY!
I have people tell me, "Wow, I can't imagine going through everything you have been through without killing myself..." Ummm, honestly, the thought has NEVER crossed my mind. And to me, my life seems normal. At this point, I can't imagine NOT going though the things I have been through. I think I am more compassionate, more empathetic, have a better grip on reality than I did when I was younger, and am able to deal with life better because I can find humor or joy in the smallest things. I don't feel like I am stronger than anyone else. I just deal with life as it comes. Do I complain? Yes... Sometimes it gets to be too much... But people complain about a lot of things... I hear people complain about their jobs, their spouses, money, etc... Why shouldn't I be able to vent once in awhile? It's NORMAL!!!
Anyway, before you judge someone else's life, take a look at your own. I feel blessed everyday... I am able to smile, I am happy, and this is my life...not yours... :)
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