I just want to thank everyone for your constant thoughts and prayers for my dad. It's easier for me to just write a general update on here rather than reply to several emails. Many of you know that my dad was transferred to Johns Hopkins last Wednesday. It has not been what we were expecting at all, but it is what it is. I just got back from visiting with him and was finally able to talk with a doctor for the first time since he was admitted. Since he's been in Baltimore, he's received dialysis a few times as scheduled. They tried to add an extra day over the weekend, but were unble to get any fluid off due to his blood pressure dropping so low. He has all kinds of CT scans, and MRI, sonograms, etc... of his stomach to see why that has become so bloated. He had a lot of extra fluid in his abdomen and was causing him a lot of pain, but they wouldn't give him any pain meds because they were afraid it would slow down his breathing. Last night they finally decided to drain his stomach and were able to remove about 3 liters. He is much more comfortable, but still is very swollen all over. He said he's had about 24 pounds or so of fluid removed in the past week (between the dialysis and draining his abdomen). You can imagine how skinny he is at this point. They found bacteria in the fluid in his stomach and are treating him with antibiotics. He also has pneumonia and are treating him for that. He is still bleeding out and no idea what is causing that. They did a MRI today which showed a very large cyst in his pancreas and he will be having a biopsy of that on Friday as well as some other kinds of testing. We are going on 7 weeks now of no real answers, just new complications. How he's held on so long is truly a mystery to me.
I have no idea who is reading this, but if you happen to know Harriet (or her children), please do not pass along any info regarding my dad. My dad has talked to her, my mom has talked to her (and is telling her more or less what is going on), and she still feels the need to be more informed. My dad has made it very clear to me and in his own words, "Tell her to leave me the f**k alone and stay out of my business." You would think when my dad let her keep the house, boats, and everything else in FL, she would have gotten the hint that he has no desire to ever see her again in life, but some people don't catch on so quickly! ;)
Anyway, I am supposed to be getting a call from another doctor tomorrow morning with a little more info. (I am seriously not holding my breath!) And will update with any changes. Thanks again for the prayers! :)
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Not for the Easily Offended....
Not that I am one to hold back, I will just warn that this blog might include things that are TMI!!! LOL
Ok, I have a very good friend who means the world to me. No one can brighten my day quite like him, he makes me smile and laugh, and whenever I am near him, I just feel happy. He's not someone that I have to put on an act with, I can just be me. We talk to each other about things going on in our lives, we can joke around, and we can also be brutally honest with each other without worrying that our friendship will change. He is such a good guy, with a heart of gold and when I see the way he is with his daughter, it almost brings me to tears. A lot of men out there could take lessons from him about what a real father acts like! He's an awesome dad, friend, and person. And I am so glad he is part of my life. All of that being said, last night I saw something on FB (Yes, I know it's only FB and I am not 12 years old!) that sort of surprised me. But since he is such a good friend, I only want the best for him and I want him to be happy! So, I called up my best friend, Fredi, and she told me to just wait until I talk to him, and not to jump to conclusions, and to basically chill out! ;) But, I was sad, and I woke up sad, and cried and cried some more... (This is where Fredi texted me and I will use nicer words but basically told me, "You are not really that upset, you are just PMSing." I need to point out, that normally, she has to let me know this each month! LOL Since having my hysterectomy last year, I do not get warning signs that PMS is gonna hit...It just hits and hits hard!
I decided I was tired of feeling sorry for myself, so I told Brandon it was time to go do some retail therapy, shopping!!! We got in the car, and I got a text from the friend explaining the situation to me and I suddenly felt very stupid for getting upset! So, I started crying more that I had wasted so many tears on something so irrelevant! Brandon was in the backseat saying, "Don't cry, Mommy! Don't be sad, Mommy! Do you need a tissue???" I wiped away my tears and started pulling out of the gas station. I put down the sun visor, but moved it to the left by the window. Since I was going around a turn, I pulled down the second visor (which I didn't even realize was there until today) to block the sun infront of me. All of a sudden, I felt something fall on my head. It shocked me so much, that I didn't have time to even see what it was. I pulled into the store, and looked in my lap and it was 3 condoms.... I sat there in shock thinking WTF for a few seconds then burst out laughing hysterically. I guess Jorge thought I needed some comic relief to my day. I just am sooooo thankful that it was Brandon in the car with me and not Ryan or my mom or anyone else! LOL Thank you, Jorge!
In case you might be wondering why the hell there would be condoms in my truck, it used to belong to Jorge. I didn't start driving it until after he passed away. So, I have been drving this thing for a year and a half having no clue there were condoms about 6 inches from my head this whole time! LOL
Ok, I have a very good friend who means the world to me. No one can brighten my day quite like him, he makes me smile and laugh, and whenever I am near him, I just feel happy. He's not someone that I have to put on an act with, I can just be me. We talk to each other about things going on in our lives, we can joke around, and we can also be brutally honest with each other without worrying that our friendship will change. He is such a good guy, with a heart of gold and when I see the way he is with his daughter, it almost brings me to tears. A lot of men out there could take lessons from him about what a real father acts like! He's an awesome dad, friend, and person. And I am so glad he is part of my life. All of that being said, last night I saw something on FB (Yes, I know it's only FB and I am not 12 years old!) that sort of surprised me. But since he is such a good friend, I only want the best for him and I want him to be happy! So, I called up my best friend, Fredi, and she told me to just wait until I talk to him, and not to jump to conclusions, and to basically chill out! ;) But, I was sad, and I woke up sad, and cried and cried some more... (This is where Fredi texted me and I will use nicer words but basically told me, "You are not really that upset, you are just PMSing." I need to point out, that normally, she has to let me know this each month! LOL Since having my hysterectomy last year, I do not get warning signs that PMS is gonna hit...It just hits and hits hard!
I decided I was tired of feeling sorry for myself, so I told Brandon it was time to go do some retail therapy, shopping!!! We got in the car, and I got a text from the friend explaining the situation to me and I suddenly felt very stupid for getting upset! So, I started crying more that I had wasted so many tears on something so irrelevant! Brandon was in the backseat saying, "Don't cry, Mommy! Don't be sad, Mommy! Do you need a tissue???" I wiped away my tears and started pulling out of the gas station. I put down the sun visor, but moved it to the left by the window. Since I was going around a turn, I pulled down the second visor (which I didn't even realize was there until today) to block the sun infront of me. All of a sudden, I felt something fall on my head. It shocked me so much, that I didn't have time to even see what it was. I pulled into the store, and looked in my lap and it was 3 condoms.... I sat there in shock thinking WTF for a few seconds then burst out laughing hysterically. I guess Jorge thought I needed some comic relief to my day. I just am sooooo thankful that it was Brandon in the car with me and not Ryan or my mom or anyone else! LOL Thank you, Jorge!
In case you might be wondering why the hell there would be condoms in my truck, it used to belong to Jorge. I didn't start driving it until after he passed away. So, I have been drving this thing for a year and a half having no clue there were condoms about 6 inches from my head this whole time! LOL
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Count Your Blessings, Not Your Troubles....
Tonight, I had a nurse at the hospital flat out tell me, "Man, you have a shitty life!" Surprisingly enough, she is not the first person who has told me this! ;) I know at times it seems like my life is one crisis after another (not self inflicted), that my life is FAR from perfect. But you know what? It's MY life!!! I think I have a pretty damn good life! Obviously I could have done without losing my son and his father to cancer. And raising two young boys, one of which is autistic is hard. And I wish my father was not ill. But I have soooo many things to be thankful for! I own a home, I have a car that gets me where I need to go, I am able to provide for my children, I have some of the most awesome and insane friends, I have parents who are soooo good to me, and I have two little boys who are my whole world! The circumstances in my life do not make me. It's what I have done with those circumstances that makes me the person I am today. Do I have days where I am down and depressed? Of course...I am only human... But for the most part, I am able to find something to smile about and be happy about EVERY DAY!
I have people tell me, "Wow, I can't imagine going through everything you have been through without killing myself..." Ummm, honestly, the thought has NEVER crossed my mind. And to me, my life seems normal. At this point, I can't imagine NOT going though the things I have been through. I think I am more compassionate, more empathetic, have a better grip on reality than I did when I was younger, and am able to deal with life better because I can find humor or joy in the smallest things. I don't feel like I am stronger than anyone else. I just deal with life as it comes. Do I complain? Yes... Sometimes it gets to be too much... But people complain about a lot of things... I hear people complain about their jobs, their spouses, money, etc... Why shouldn't I be able to vent once in awhile? It's NORMAL!!!
Anyway, before you judge someone else's life, take a look at your own. I feel blessed everyday... I am able to smile, I am happy, and this is my life...not yours... :)
I have people tell me, "Wow, I can't imagine going through everything you have been through without killing myself..." Ummm, honestly, the thought has NEVER crossed my mind. And to me, my life seems normal. At this point, I can't imagine NOT going though the things I have been through. I think I am more compassionate, more empathetic, have a better grip on reality than I did when I was younger, and am able to deal with life better because I can find humor or joy in the smallest things. I don't feel like I am stronger than anyone else. I just deal with life as it comes. Do I complain? Yes... Sometimes it gets to be too much... But people complain about a lot of things... I hear people complain about their jobs, their spouses, money, etc... Why shouldn't I be able to vent once in awhile? It's NORMAL!!!
Anyway, before you judge someone else's life, take a look at your own. I feel blessed everyday... I am able to smile, I am happy, and this is my life...not yours... :)
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